Jade Lizzie

Sharing the yoga love

Learning To Be Struggle-Free

struggle freeI blogged last week about how I’ve been embracing a more “underachieving” approach to my yoga practice lately. I was overwhelmed by the number of people who contacted me to say they loved this post. I know – who would have thought slacking was so inspiring? But many of these people had been beating themselves up for not doing enough and they were relieved to hear I was able to dial it down for a while, and be ok with that. It struck me how hard we are on ourselves. We live in a goals-driven, target-setting, progress-orientated culture. We’re taught that effort equals success, and while that can great, it can also leave us with the impression that if we’re not struggling, we’re doing something wrong. So I wanted to share some advice that has helped me a lot.

The reason I’ve not been practising as much yoga is because I’ve been busy. Squeezing in such a long practice every day was making yoga into a struggle, and not something I loved. So I chose to let go of the struggle and adopt a more realistic, manageable yoga practice for a few weeks.

And this goes back to something that a yoga teacher said in class a while ago which resonated with me. In the warm up she encouraged us to, “Allow yourself to be struggle-free.” During the initial, gentler sections of the class this was fine. But then later, in a fairly intense core-strengthening sequence, she reiterated the guidance. “Be struggle-free. Be easy.” I was skeptical about the possibility of being “struggle-free” while doing Forrest Yoga abs (try them – they’re brutal). But weirdly, it worked. Not because I stopped trying, but because I realised how much of my suffering was caused by my mental battle. I was surprised that I could still work hard, and feel the intensity of that (which I definitely did), but without struggling, and therefore without hating it.

I’ve been experimenting with this quite a lot in the rest of my life too, and it’s been helpful. There are two ways that I try to apply the “struggle-free” philosophy. The first is that if I’m doing too much, or not enjoying something I’m doing, I reflect on whether I really need to be doing it, or whether it’s a self-imposed struggle that I could find a way around.

The second way acknowledges that sometimes there are things I have to experience which don’t feel particularly comfortable. Let’s say I need to have a challenging conversation with someone, or I’m anxious about the outcome of decision. I’ve been reminding myself at these times to, “Be easy.” Depending on the circumstances, maybe this means I need to relax, to detach, to surrender or to let things go and trust that it will work out.

And I’ve found that the more I let myself be struggle-free, the more things do seem to work out. Not necessarily to start with, but in the end they have a tendency to come good. Because actually even if I really think I know what the best outcome should be, I don’t really know what’s for the best. Things that I might initially perceive as failures can give rise to other, better opportunities.

None of this is to say that you shouldn’t make an effort. You can still apply yourself fully, and commit and work hard at whatever it is you’re doing. And sometimes you do need to make a stand, and do things that are tough. But you can also make the conscious decision not to struggle with them. Even in the midst of things that feel horrible, like abs workouts or relationship break ups, it can be possible to find a kind of acceptance and peace in surrender to the situation. Most of the suffering is in the struggle. If you can let go of that, things get a lot easier.

So this week, my challenge to everyone, myself included is to let yourself be struggle-free. Drop something from your “To do,” list, find an easier way or let go of a personal battle. Let me know if it makes a difference.

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4 Comments

  1. Katharine

    Really love your posts Jade! They are right on the money 🙂

    I’m off to do my YTT 200 hr at Suryalila this month! Can’t wait!

    Sending love your way xxx

    • Jade Lizzie

      So sorry for the delayed reply Katharine! I only just spotted this. That’s great that you’re doing the 200 hour training at Suryalila – in my humble opinion it’s the best 200 hour training out there 🙂 And it’s not even the one I took, so I’m genuinely unbiased on that 😉 Hope you have a wonderful time – send my love to all at Suryalila xxx

  2. Hi Jade,

    I’ve found this post extremely interesting. I definitely agree with you on the need to be struggle-free. Being grown-up to be an overachiever (as most of us seem to be), struggling comes to me as a very deeply rooted habit. It is so rooted that even joyful activities, like writing, meditating or studying can quickly become struggles to me. The passion seems to be quickly turned into need to achieve. What a stressful way to be!

    I will try to follow your suggestion of letting go of the struggle altogether. I am sure that letting go of the struggle might lead one towards a more relaxed, joyful and connected life.

    The example of a friend of mine comes to my mind. She became a painter when she turned 40. When I asked her how come she started professional painting at that age she told me that she simply decided to let go, stress less and follow her art the way she wanted. She had always been an artistic person, but allowing her to be struggle free gave her the space to really cultivate her art.

    Enough worrying and planning. Things will be the way they are!

    All the best!
    Niccolo’

    • Jade Lizzie

      So glad you enjoyed the post. You’re right – for many of us the “hard work” ethic that we’re brought up translates to everything becoming a struggle. The more I try to remind myself that it doesn’t have to be, the more I realise just how true that is. We get caught up in our own stories of difficulty sometimes.
      I love the story of your friend too – so interesting to question what our lives will naturally become when we let go of the struggle. I’m looking forward to finding out!
      Jade

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