Jade Lizzie

Sharing the yoga love

Navigating Life Transitions with Yoga

In the run-up to my maternity leave, knowing my time for writing would soon be limited, I drafted a blog post ready to refine and share after my baby was born. Except that was 18 months ago, and I’ve never posted it, because I got it so wrong.

Pregnancy yoga at 38 weeks

The draft article was called “What happens when you do 10 minutes of yoga per day?” It was inspired by one of the most popular articles I’ve ever written – “What happens when you do 3 hours of yoga per day?” I thought my new blog post would be a nice complement to that article and the ideal one for my first piece of writing post-baby. And in my naïveté, I was sure I’d manage 10 minutes of yoga per day as a new mum. I mean, babies sleep, right?! If you’re a seasoned parent, and you’re reading this with a wry smile, know that I also believed I’d be able to carry on my PhD research while on maternity leave because, again, babies sleep. It makes me cringe now.

As a small aside, I want to acknowledge here that plenty of people manage to have babies and maintain a yoga practice. I believe some even manage to bake cakes, look after other children, keep on top of laundry and write books. I was not one of those people.

Failed attempts to get on my mat

I tried many times to do some yoga with my daughter Fenn lying on my mat, like the yoga mums I saw on Instagram. It never worked. Fenn would cry with outrage at being put down until I gave up. She did sleep; her preferred positions were on me, or being pushed by me in her pram. Neither was ideal for doing yoga. I couldn’t even put her in the sling I’d imagined she’d love, like the baby-wearing mum I thought I should be. She hated it, and it usually made her very sick, down both of us. I know now that Fenn had terrible, undiagnosed reflux, which probably explains her intolerance for being anywhere other than propped up on me or on the move. Once we had medication, life changed dramatically. But in the first few months of her life, there were no easy yoga slots. When I got some respite, my priority was sleep, or eating something with two hands, or trying to regain some semblance of control over our home.

But although my physical yoga practice took a hit, I’m so grateful I spent years practising yoga before welcoming Fenn. Navigating this life transition would have been unimaginable without the grounding yoga provided. All that practising, reflecting and connecting with my body and mind were like payments into a personal wellbeing account. And for the past 18 months I’ve been withdrawing from it, reaping the benefits of the groundwork yoga laid. 

The power of reframing

One of the simplest ways has been the countless hours I’ve spent comforting my daughter and helping her get to sleep. Sometimes rocking, sometimes cuddling, sometimes just sitting and waiting. I am not, by nature, a very patient person. I want to do everything faster, to fit more and more in. But yoga and meditation have taught me practical techniques for resisting the urge to rush and surrendering to the moment. I’ve reminded myself in those moments to breathe, relax, soften into it and to see what happens. And I’ve changed my relationship to these times. Now, my time getting Fenn to sleep is when I write articles in my mind, or rest and enjoy the cuddles, or let my mind wander and see what comes up. I’ve started to recognise it as really precious time, reminding myself how powerful it is to reframe “I’ve got to do this” to “I get to do this”. When it’s harder to just sit, I count my breaths or focus on a mantra. All these strategies come more easily thanks to the times when I had a consistent meditation practice

With the fam

The meditation has also helped me to be less reactive, or at least to give me some space between my reaction and my response. Take, for instance, a particularly challenging night when, after soothing Fenn back to sleep at 3am, she threw up all over the bed. Teetering on the edge of frustration, I caught myself, recognising how tired I was. I took a breath and realised I didn’t need to waste energy on irritation, choosing instead to stay in a calm, quiet place within myself while I changed the sheets. The ability to notice my reaction, then make a deliberate choice to follow a more peaceful path, was a gift from my meditation practice months and years before.

And then there have been the times that were emotionally rough. The times when I was exhausted and questioned all my life choices and missed my old life and freedoms so much that it hurt. The times that no one warns you about. Here it was the yin yoga practices that helped. They have taught me to lean into the discomfort, to do tonglen, where you breathe into the space that feels hot and dark and uncomfortable instead of pushing it away. Because by sitting with them, allowing them, even welcoming them, I was much better able to process the feelings and move through it. 

Yoga as a reservoir of strength

What I’ve realised is that the quantity of your practice doesn’t diminish its quality or impact on your life, and the physical element doesn’t need to be a constant. I’ve come to see the yoga I’ve done as a reservoir of strength, patience, and resilience that I can draw from in times of change. So, to anyone navigating major life transitions, unsure of how to maintain their practice or integrate it into their new life, know this: the yoga you’ve already done, the time you’ve dedicated to it, continues to work within you. It becomes a part of you. 

I suspect I’m still mostly in the withdrawing from the wellbeing account phase, but I am finding ways to top it up a bit too – lots of journalling, the odd online yoga class and plenty of walking and running outside. When I do a physical yoga practice, it feels reassuring and grounding. Like a catch up with a really good friend, it’s still the space that lets me be fully myself. I know life will cycle back around, and I’m sure at some point I’ll get to do 3 hours of yoga per day again, but for now I’m loving what I can do. 

How I’m getting on with reformer pilates…

As someone who has made Beeston their home, I’m always happy to see lovely new places opening up locally – restaurants, cafes, shops and most recently, a beautiful new pilates reformer studio – Elevated Pilates.

I’ve been reformer-curious for a while, but never enough so to make the effort to get myself to a class.  But with a studio opening up on my doorstep, I got myself along to a class and I’m already hooked. 

Here’s what to expect from a class at Elevated Pilates in Beeston, based on my own experience… 

It’s beginner-friendly. 

Despite the straps and springs, it’s much less scary than it looks. I started with the Core Principles class, which is an ideal one for beginners. It guides you in how to build a foundation of strength and movement with simple but powerful exercises, and this helps you to get to grips with the reformer carriage. Sarah was my teacher for the first class, and her approach was super-inclusive and accessible.

It’s surprisingly mindful.

I’ll admit, because yoga is such a mindful practice, I didn’t expect to get the same centering, calming benefits from something that’s not… well, yoga. But what surprised me about the first class was how immersive it was. The motto seems to be “control the carriage” and it’s a useful one, because the moment you lose focus and either under or over-power your movement, the carriage lets you know by springing back with a bit of clunk! It’s a compelling reminder to keep your mind focused on what you’re doing…

It helps you build strength, in different ways.

This was a big one for me. I’ve been strength training a lot recently, so I wasn’t sure whether I would feel much after a reformer class. I definitely did. There were a couple of main aspects to this:

  1. Strength in range of motion. In teaching yoga, I talk a lot about building strength in your whole range of motion – building endless flexibility without the stability to support it is a bad idea for everyone, but especially for folks who have a tendency towards hypermobility (which is often those of us who are drawn to yoga!). But there are quite a few movements on the  reformer where you’re moving into your full range of motion – for example doing leg circles with legs in straps (my favourite). You’re working into and building your hamstring and hip mobility, but you also need to maintain muscle engagement because you’re working against the resistance of the springs. So it’s fantastic for releasing tight muscles while maintaining stability. 
  2. Core. I knew Pilates is good for core strength, but on the reformer, it’s a level up! 18 months ago, I had a caesarean section and I’ve done a lot of work since to help my core recover and rebuild the mind-body connection – not easy with muscles that were first stretched through pregnancy, then cut. I wish I’d found reformer sooner.  Everything on the carriage comes back to core strengthening – when you’re working legs you’re also engaging your core, in working shoulders, you need to stabilise through your abdominal muscles.  I come out of every session feeling stronger and more connected to my core.
  3. Identifying weak spots. This has been another surprise, but much like yoga, reformer pilates is very good for highlighting your weaknesses, and making you work on them. For me, it was feet and lower legs – I’ve not got the strongest ankles and I know this can be a weakness in my running. During my first class, I could really feel the engagement and work through my feet and ankles. It’s been great for helping me to work this area in a way that I’m clearly not naturally doing at the gym. 

It’s a lot of fun.

In case it’s not obvious, I’ve really enjoyed the classes. After years of struggling to find a perfect space to teach yoga locally (super grateful for the students who have stuck with me through rooms that are too hot, too cold or have horrible fluorescent lights – you are amazing!), it’s so lovely to be in a space designed specifically for the classes – it’s a beautiful, welcoming place.

As someone who works on my own for most of the day (and also works out alone, does yoga alone and runs alone – are you sensing a pattern?!) I’ve really enjoyed joining classes, being taught by a great teacher and making connections with other students.

But most of all, I find the classes themselves fun. Moving on the carriage feels playful and it’s so good to experiment with moving in a different way.

If you’re tempted, I highly recommend you give the classes a try. Let me know how you get on!

Life lessons from yoga in pregnancy

At 38 weeks pregnant, I’ve just started maternity leave and the busyness that usually gives my world structure has subsided. Everyone keeps telling me that the most important thing I can do is rest, which I’m sure is true. But given that I have a little set of feet presssing into my diaphragm, neither sitting nor lying for any length of time are very appealing… Thankfully, I still have yoga. I thought I’d share a little about how my yoga practice has been shaped by and shaped my experience of pregnancy in the hope it might help others, pregnant or not.

Everything feeling a little more challenging with a bump…

Yoga in the first trimester

I was lucky not to be too sick in my first trimester, but I felt lousy for weeks. I was plagued by nausea which refused to limit itself to any particular time of day. ‘Morning’ sickness is a lie. Much of the time I felt bone tired and a bit pathetic. Needless to say, my yoga practice changed a lot. When I managed to do a stronger asana practice I would feel much better for it. However, most days the best I could manage was a bit of cat-cow and some rolling from side to side.

Pranayama was my friend though – practising ujaayi breath and alternate nostril breathing (without breath retention) helped to keep me calm and centred. I can’t recommend it enough. Being able to focus on my breath also saved me during some tricky work calls when all I wanted to do was lie down with my iced water and dry crackers to hand.

Yoga in the second trimester

From about week 10 of my pregnancy, I started to feel much better. I had more energy, my body felt like mine again and the nausea subsided. I know I’m lucky in that and for many, symptoms last much longer and are far more severe than mine were. You have my utmost sympathy and respect!

But by week 11 or so, I was mostly back to doing my own vinyasa yoga practice, which just a few adaptations. As I didn’t have much of a bump until my third trimester, I felt quite unrestricted and it was great to feel strong and mobile again. I tried some free pregnancy yoga classes on Youtube, but found them a bit dull. I wasn’t ready to give up a stronger physical practice, so and I got frustrated with feeling the classes were so limited in scope. I ended up subscribing to an online service purely for a brilliant online pregnancy yoga series from Lauren Eckstrom. This gave me the physical challenge I was looking for while also having some gentler classes and pregnancy-specific yoga nidra classes thrown into the mix.

One of my favourite postures for creating space in the pelvis

Yoga in the third trimester

In my third trimester, I started to miss the connection to others of being part of a class. I couldn’t find any pregnancy yoga classes near where I live in Beeston, Nottingham (maybe something I can rectify in the future!) but I stumbled across some live online Triyoga classes led by an absolute guru of pregancy yoga, Lolly Stirk. Since the 70s, Lolly has championed women’s rights to free movement and choice in their births. She founded the Active Birth Movement which shaped medical practice through the 80s and 90s. The depth of her knowledge shines through in her classes, which combine community, gentle movement and breathing. At 36 weeks pregnant, when my midwife told me that she couldn’t find the baby’s head (!) and wasn’t sure whether they were breech, Lolly asked me what I could feel. She then reassured me, “Have the scan to be sure, but your baby is head down, your baby is fine.” She was right.

Lolly has taught me a way of practising yoga that will never leave me. It’s about repetitive, and almost hypnotic movements, tuning in to the natural rhythms of the body and working with the breath. I begin most classes feeling a little agitated and impatient, then at a certain point, my mind settles and I’m just there, in my body. I can’t imagine a better way to prepare for birth.

3 things that yoga in pregnancy has taught me

I’m a big believer in taking all the learning you can from an experience. Pregnancy has been a steep learning curve for me. The things I am hoping will stick are:

  1. Whatever else is going on, you can always come back to your breath. Focusing on my breath has anchored me through the sicky days, the energetic days and the anxious days.
  2. You practise yoga in a different body each time. For years, I’ve enjoyed yoga’s ability to help me tune into changes in my body. But pregnancy brings such accelerated transformation that every time I practise, something tangible has changed. I love taking time to notice, accept and appreciate it.
  3. Being able to do’ a posture matters less than you think. I’ve surprised myself by not really caring when I lost the ability to do certain yoga postures. Yoga has helped me to stay mobile enough to pick things up off the floor, tie my own shoelaces and get myself off the sofa. But when child’s pose got too restricted, I just grabbed a bolster. When handstands no longer felt like sweet relief, I stopped doing them. When savasana on my back made me feel like I was suffocating, I lay on my side instead. And do you know what, it was fine.

Most of all, yoga in pregnancy has been a lesson in impermanence and non-attachment. It’s been an invitation to dive deeper into an awareness that transcends the physical postures and to see that they never really mattered anyway. That said, I still defy anyone to focus on much at all when you’re literally being kicked in the ribs from the inside. Maybe there’s a lesson somewhere in that too?!

What happens when you practise yoga nidra every day?

About a month ago, I challenged myself to practise yoga nidra every day for a week.

What is yoga nidra?

If you’re unfamiliar with yoga nidra, it’s a practice where you fully relax and follow guided instructions to focus your mind on different things. The yoga nidra scripts vary, but they often include elements like a full body scan, conjuring up sensations and visualisations.

Imagine shows Jade resting in baddha konasana pose
Learning to take it a bit easier

Why yoga nidra, and why every day?

As any quick google search will tell you, yoga nidra is known for its relaxing benefits. It’s a great way to soothe the nervous system, destress and leave you feeling calm. I realise that none of that sounds very challenging. And in itself, it’s not. The practice is easy. You choose a recording – I like Ally Boothroyd’s videos on YouTube – or make one of your own, you lie down and make yourself comfy, and that’s it. But for me, it’s not the doing it that’s the problem, it’s making the time for it.

I work full time, which unfortunately equates to a lot of sitting at my desk, in front of a screen. I’m also studying for a PhD in education, which again, involves a lot of sitting at a computer. When I’m done with the screen, I’m desperate to move around. I’m ready for a strong vinyasa flow yoga class, a workout or at the very least a good walk. I find it hard to ‘justify’ relaxing in way that involves stillness, even when I sense it’s what my mind needs.

So this idea of practising yoga nidra every day came to me seemingly from nowhere, as the best ideas often do. I was out for a walk, reflecting on work and life, when it popped into my head – I should try doing yoga nidra every day. I’m not sure why this was the inspiration that struck me – although I’ve liked yoga nidra on the rare occasions I’ve practised it, I’ve never sought it out. If I’m honest, I’d probably taught more yoga nidra than I’d practised myself.

How was practising yoga nidra every day?

I loved it. I don’t think I should have been surprised by this, but I was. As the week went on, my enjoyment of the practice snowballed. I found it easier to settle in, easier to stay awake (mostly!) and easier to drop quickly into a deep state of relaxation. I also found it changed the way I felt the rest of the time. I sometimes struggle with anxiety, and yoga, movement and meditation are my main coping strategies for this. But after a few days of practising yoga nidra, I found myself feeling lighter. Some of the jittery undercurrent of my consciousness seemed to have dissolved away.

There were a few unexpected learnings for me too:

  1. Yoga nidra doesn’t need to take forever. I’m sure yoga nidra purists would disagree, but some of my most enjoyable practices were only 10 minutes long. I thought that I had to do at least 30 minutes for it to be a ‘real practice’, and I did enjoy a couple of longer practices, but the shorter ones felt just as beneficial.
  2. Yoga nidra isn’t only for bedtime. In fact, I found I was too tired to get the most out of it just before bed. Instead I tried:
    • First thing in the morning. Although I struggled to convince myself to do this when I could just be snoozing, it turned out to be a lovely, gentle way to start the day.
    • On my lunchbreak. This I found to be the hardest time. For me it’s always difficult to disconnect from work once I’m in the flow of it and knowing I had to get back into it in the afternoon made it hard to let go. That said, it definitely gave me a proper break in the day and let me reset my energy levels before the afternoon.
    • After work. This was my favourite time to practise. After work I’d do yoga or a workout, then give myself time to practise yoga nidra before I carried on with the rest of my evening. It worked perfectly. It let me transition from productive mode into something more restorative and put me in a great mood to start my evening. I was much less inclined to ruminate over work stress in the evenings afterwards.
  3. The effects of yoga nidra are long lasting and cumulative. After a few days of the practice, I noticed I felt calmer. At times I would notice with surprise that my anxiety seemed to have dissolved altogether, albeit temporarily. It wasn’t a dramatic revelation, but more a gentle unfurling of something sweeter and easier.
Image shows my ginger cat George curled up asleep on a blanket.
This little munchkin reminding me every day you can never get too much rest…

The Big Question: Will I keep it up?

I think I will. Beyond these little challenges I like to set myself, I avoid giving myself too many ‘must-dos’ each day. But I do intend keeping this up as part of my regular practice. I’ve got too much from it to stop now…

Ready to incorporate more relaxation time into your own practice?

My free yoga teaching resource pack contains a couple of scripts, one for guided savasana and one for meditation which you might find useful to add a bit more relaxation into your own practice. Download it here.

Coping with post-lockdown anxiety

Is anyone else struggling with post-lockdown anxiety? Life without restaurants and yoga studios and holidays was hard, but it was also simpler. Now that the world has opened up again, I’ve found myself torn between so many competing demands. How am I going to fit everything in? Who haven’t I remembered to get in touch with? Am I doing any of this right? Ugh.

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood from Pexels

However, as someone who has struggled with anxiety since childhood, I have at least built up a decent range of strategies for dealing with it. When I start to notice anxious thoughts taking over, these are the things I find most helpful.

Disclaimer: It’s important I point out that I am not a mental health professional and I am just sharing what works for me in the hope that it may help someone else too. Anxiety is far more talked about than it used to be, and I’m glad about that, but it is still a medical condition. If you are struggling, please seek professional help. There is lots of practical advice and guidance about anxiety, fear and panic on the NHS website.

My personal strategies for dealing with anxiety

  • Journalling. This is my go-to for when my head is too full of thoughts and I know I need to spend some time untangling them before I expect the rest of the world to have to deal with me. Often I like to free write, which is writing as a stream of consciousness without any regard for structure, form or content, and see what unfurls. Sometimes I use a journal prompt to kickstart some more creative reflections and sometimes I write about what’s wrong and I keeping going until I’ve figured out a way to feel better.
  • Yoga. You may have guessed this one already. I write about yoga, I do yoga, I teach yoga – it’s clearly a big part of my life. But in many ways it was anxiety that drew me to yoga. If like me you are an over-thinker, getting out of your head and into your body is essential. Uniting breath with movement helps to keep your attention on the present and away from your racing thoughts. What kind of yoga is best for anxiety is probably a post for another time, but the main thing is to take the pressure off. You don’t need to do an intense 2 hour vinyasa flow practice, unless you want to. Just get yourself onto your yoga mat for 10 minutes, breathe and move.
  • Self acupressure. Ok, this one is a little out there, but bear with me. Last week, I had a nasty cold. I was feeling too ill for yoga, too tired for journalling, but I knew I needed to do something. I tried the acupressure techniques in this video for stimulating the vagus nerve, and within minutes, I felt calmer. Give it a try and let me know what you think.
Stand up paddle boarding on St Mary’s Loch, Scotland.
  • Getting outside in nature. This is my favourite way to tackle anxiety – getting outside, whatever the weather. Especially if you spend long days working inside, this is the pefect antidote. It matters less what you do – walking, running, paddleboarding (I’m a big fan!), cycling – all can be great. The key thing is:
    • See the sky
    • Breathe the air
    • Move around
    • Remind yourself that there is a natural world which is both bigger than you and connected to you.
  • Meditation. I’ve put this further down the list, because when I’m in a state of acute anxiety, it’s actually not something I find helpful – I need to try the other things on the list first. However, as once I’ve done my journalling or my yoga or whatever else I need to move the immediate anxiety along a stage, then sitting down to meditate is wonderful. It’s also a great longer term strategy for dealing with stress and anxiety before it arises. I try to make at least five minutes for meditation as part of my morning routine before I start work. If silent meditation feels overwhelming, try this beautiful, short guided meditation from Mooji. You might also like to check out the guided meditation script which is part of the free Mini Yoga Teachign Toolkit I’ve created.

Creating your own anxiety toolkit

As a final bonus point, one thing I’ve found it useful is to create for myself a little anxiety toolkit. It’s essentially a list of all the things I can try that help me to work through anxiety and ultimately feel better. I keep these on my phone, so that when I have a low moment, I can check in with it and feel inspired to try at least one of the things to move myself out of the funk.

The transition into winter can be tough, especially this year with post-lockdown anxiety and ongoing pandemic uncertainty, so be kind to yourself. Let me know if you find any of these useful and if you have other strategies for dealing with anxiety that work for you, please share them in the comments below. I’d love to hear them.

Yoga teacher advice to my past self…

Things I wish I’d learned before I started teaching yoga

It’s more than 6 years now since I qualified as a yoga teacher, and my relationship towards it has changed a lot in that time. For all those new yoga teachers, yoga teacher trainees or curious yoga students, I thought I’d share some of my lessons learned.

Before I started yoga, I wish I’d known:

1. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Because I loved it SO MUCH, I thought that once I became a yoga teacher, that would be my main identity. This a phenomenon known as ‘flattening’ and Pandora Skyes writes about in her excellent book ‘How do we know we’re doing it right?’ It’s the idea that in order to be whole we have to reduce our identities down to one primary thing. For me that meant I felt I should discard the parts of myself that didn’t ‘fit’ being a yoga teacher. I’m far more comfortable now in owning and enjoying my multiple identities. I’m a writer, a doctoral researcher, a (currently frustrated!) traveller, an appreciator of gin and tonic AND a yoga teacher. It’s ok to layer yoga teaching into your life – it doesn’t have to be everything.

2. There are many different models of yoga class teaching. To share just a handful I’ve tried in the last few years, you can teach:

  • Classes at a commercial gym or a local leisure centre
  • Corporate yoga to employees in their offices
  • Private one to one yoga classes from your home or visiting their home
  • Yoga studio classes
  • Your own classes by hiring a room in a community centre or something swankier
  • Online yoga classes either live or pre-recorded
  • Cover or supply classes for when the regular yoga teacher is away
  • Classes at a yoga retreat (highly recommend this one!)
The image shows Jade teaching a yoga class who are in a circle inthe dome at Suryalila Retreat Centre all doing child's pose.

They all have their advantages and disadvantages when it comes to consistency, earning potential, atmosphere, loyalty, flexibility etc. It’s therefore worth experimenting and seeing what works for you, which leads us on to…

3. Everything is an experiment. This is a great life philosophy (and a favourite of my partner Tom). Yes, you should do your best – my own yoga teacher Vidya of Frog Lotus Yoga International encourages yoga teacher trainees to “Make every class a 10/10” and it’s true – your yoga students deserve that positive intention. However, not everything will work out. Your teaching cues might not flow, the room might be too hot or you might have low attendance. If you treat it all as an experiment, it takes the sting out of it – you’re always playing, experimenting and learning.

4. Not everyone will like your teaching, and that’s ok. When I started teaching yoga, I wanted to win everyone over, hoping that they’d like the yoga as much as I did. It’s a lovely feeling when they do. Getting positive feedback at the end of class, or via a thoughtful Facebook message later that evening is fantastic. But I’ve come to realise that teaching yoga is a bold and creative act. When people don’t love your teaching, yes reflect on it and see what you can learn, but then let it go. You need to be brave about this. Trust that although you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, you will attract the students who are receptive to what you have to share.

5. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Because teaching yoga takes courage, energy and commitment, it also takes a lot out of you, especially if you’re on the more introverted end of the spectrum. I love yoga teaching and I get such a buzz out of it, but I choose not to do it all day every day. Be careful not to overcommit to too many classes, jobs or creative projects especially at the start. The things that nourish you matter too – whether that’s meditation, seeing friends, taking a bath or enjoying a G&T. Remember, you are not just a yoga teacher.

Most of all, be kind to yourself

It’s such a challenging and exciting time when you begin teaching yoga, and I hope these help. You might also like to check ou my free Mini Yoga Teaching Resource Pack. Yoga teachers, let me know your own lessons learned in the comments below – what do you wish you’d known when you started teaching yoga?

Five books to cosy up with this winter…

Slightly different blog from me today, but as winter is my favourite time for hibernating with a good book or five, I thought I’d share a few recommendations. They’re not necessarily yoga-focused but most are at least leaning in that direction! I’ve linked to Amazon for ease and because I’m a Kindle fan, but obviously you can buy them anywhere.

  1. Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through a Storm – Thich Nhat Hanh

This book has a special place in my heart as I read it while trekking to Annapurna Base Camp. It kept me calm through tummy bugs, back pain, bitterly cold nights and fears of avalanches. I love Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings and writings anyway, and this one has a beautifully peaceful quality to it. Read it and be comforted.

2. Start Where You Are: How to accept yourself and others – Pema Chodron.

I think anything written by the incredible Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron is well worth reading, but this book in particular describes a practice known as Tonglen. The concept of Tonglen is basically the opposite of the “inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit” idea – you imagine breathing in the poison, all the dark, hot, heavy stuff, fully experiencing and absorbing it, then breathing out cool white light. It’s counter-intuititive, but an amazingly powerful practice for transforming anger, rage, frustration and fear. It’s probably best you read the book though, as there’s no way my distorted description of it will have done it justice!

3. Happy: Why More or Less Everything is Absolutely Fine – Derren Brown

Yes, it’s by the magician/ illusionist guy, but it’s also a fantastic read about stoicism and the philosophy of how to live well. It draws on a different lineage to yogic philosophy but there’s a huge amount that resonates in here. Depressing as it sounds, I found the chapters on death life-changing and regularly remind myself of some of its nuggets of wisdom when I’m feeling anxious. Don’t let that that put you off – it’s great, I promise!  

4. Fierce Medicine – Ana Forrest

Even if you’re not a fan of Forrest Yoga, or you haven’t had chance to try it yet, there’s loads to get into in this heartfelt book about the power of yoga and connection with your spirit for healing. Ana Forrest’s own personal story is inspirational too, so it’s worth reading for the juicy autobiography alone.

5. The Midnight Library – Matt Haig

I was going to stick to non-fiction books but I couldn’t resist sharing this one last. I found the writing itself a bit awkward at times, but the whole concept it’s based around is irresistible. I don’t want to spoil the plot, but if, like me, you struggle with questioning your life choices (what if I’d not quit my job, what if I’d learned guitar, what if I’d gone to New Zealand, what if I’d joined the circus etc) it’s super helpful for putting some of those demons to rest.

I hope you enjoy these, and let me know if you have any good recommendations in return – I feel I’m due a few cosy reading days over the next week or two!

Merry Christmas!

Online Yoga to Help You Through Tough Times

Wow, what strange old times we’ve found ourselves in…

I’ve got some time off work at the moment, and I’ve been quite hard on myself for not being creative enough with that time. I had all these ideas that I’d make yoga videos, try new recipes, write a book, learn a craft, plan my PhD etc etc. In reality, what I’ve wanted to do is play with my cats and read in the garden. So far, so unproductive.

But I am grateful for yoga, and the fact I can access amazing yoga teaching from home. A few people have asked me for online yoga recommendations, so I’ve collated some of my favourites. In time, who knows, I might get around to adding my own content to this list. But until inspiration strikes, I’m happy to share a few of my own “go to” places for online yoga…
If you have your own suggestions, please add them in the comments below.

Online Yoga Recommendations

  1. Suryalila Cyber Yoga Retreat – my love of this amazing retreat centre in Andalucia, Spain is no secret. I blogged about it here. Sadly, their business has been hit hard by the pandemic. But, wonderful folk that they are, they’ve come up with a cyber yoga retreat. This means they can keep sharing their teachings, love and sense of community with the world, while hopefully generating enough income to keep the retreat centre alive. You can buy a day, week or month pass, and they’re also offering “compassion passes” for those in financial difficulty themselves. Their classes have given my days much needed structure and there’s something for everyone with a range of different yoga, meditation and philosophy classes. See here for full details.
  2. Ekhart Yoga – this has long since been my favourite source of online yoga. I let my membership lapse a while ago, as I was drawn to the flashier, LA-based AloMoves, but in all honesty, I regret it! The platform on Ekhart Yoga is more intuitive so it’s easier to find what you are looking for, whether that’s a 15 minute meditation, or a 60 minute strengthening class. I also find the teachers seem more approachable… I know the yoga is online, but I still prefer practising with a teacher I feel I’d have a good chat with! At the moment, Ekhart Yoga have made some free classes available here, and they also offer a two week free trial.
  3. Youtube offerings – I’ve spent a long time sifting through various Youtube yoga channels. There’s a lot of yoga on there, but the quality is variable. However, I’ve found the following to be safe bets:
    • Finlay Wilson – also known as the “Kilted Yogi”, Finlay shares his Forrest Yoga teachings, and I’ve yet to try a class of his that I didn’t like. He also has a lovely voice, which helps.
    • Yoga with Adrienne – with a huge online following, Adrienne is firmly in YouTube Star territory, but it’s well deserved. She has an incredible range of classes from the generic, such as Yoga for Beginners, to the highly specific – Yoga for Risk Takers, anyone?! Her manner is warm and reassuring.
    • KinoYoga – I’ve loved Kino MacGregor’s teaching since I first discovered Ashtanga Yoga, and I still seek her out when I want something a bit more challenging. Her teaching is precise and full of helpful alignment cues. As well as full length classes she has some really nice (read: painful) yoga strength drills and advanced posture tutorials.
    • Core Connection Mini Sequence – I recommend this particular YouTube class from Denise Hopkins so often, I’m giving it a bullet point of its own. Those who come to my classes in real life know how much I love core work, and this class has it all: elbow to knee, abs with a block, an excruciating hold of Dolphin Pose. You are welcome.
  4. Last but not least, it’s hard to beat live teaching. This is the perfect time to support yoga teachers and studios if you can. Many yoga studios are offering Zoom or other webinar-style classes, so check out any that you usually visit and see what they are doing. You can also practise with yoga teachers whose classes you’d never normally make it to (2021 update: I recently got to take an online class with my wonderful friend Stephanie of Kalpana Yoga in Canada – lockdown has some advantages!).
Photograph of Jade doing yoga at home in a in standing forward fold, uttanasana.
Home yoga practice

My final little reminder (which I’m also telling myself often!) is to be kind to yourself and keep things simple. This time is stressful enough without putting undue pressure on yourself to make over your life, become an artist or learn a new language. All those are great if they’re what you’re compelled to do, but honestly, if you manage each day to move your body, eat food that makes you feel good, and send a kind message to family or friends, I reckon you should be pretty proud of yourself already.


I hope this helps. Let me know how you get on with online yoga!

How Injury Transformed My Yoga Practice

If you’ve ever experienced a nasty injury, you’ll know how frustrating, debilitating and isolating it can be. I’m sharing my experience in the hope that it brings some comfort and reassurance that the situation (or at least your response to it!) can and will improve.

The Injury

Three months ago, I taught my worst ever yoga class. It wasn’t that anything went wrong with the class itself (except a last minute room change and a power cut). The issue was that when I demonstrated cat-cow, something in the right side of my lower back “went”, sending searing pain through my back.

I’ve had lower back issues before, so I knew this wasn’t good, but I carried on teaching. I hoped that moving would help. It didn’t. By the end of the class, I was in agony.

Me teaching a yoga class in the Om Dome at Suryalila Retreat Centre in Spain.
Teaching whilst injury-free!

I remained in acute, debilitating pain for the next three weeks. The only position that was comfortable was lying down. Sitting, walking and standing all sent my muscles into excruciating spasms. Safe to say, it was the end of my yoga teaching, and indeed my yoga practice for quite some time.

As I said, I’ve injured my back before, and quite badly, but this was worse.

What made it emotionally harder was knowing that I’d hurt it doing yoga. Whereas previous injuries (through doing HIIT training, lifting kettlebells and most embarrassingly, tripping over the wire while straightening my hair) I could attribute to a specific, avoidable incident, what triggered this seemed so innocuous. It wasn’t even as if I was demonstrating a challenging posture.

The Bumpy Road to Recovery

I had some good advice and some terrible advice. Friends plied me with hot water bottles, ibuprofen and gin (which worryingly helped more than painkillers!).

I scoured the internet obsessively in the hope of a cure. In my desperation I forked out for three different eBooks on healing back pain, which I read from cover to cover. These all convinced me that the pain was psychological and that I just needed to tough it out and return to my normal activities.

Determined to act “normal”, I forced myself to walk/ hobble the 5km to the local town. By the time I got there, I was in so much pain that I fainted in the street. I came to surrounded by a group of deeply concerned Spanish locals. It was a low point.

So for the next six weeks, life revolved around trying not to aggravate my back.

Beautiful massage space outside at Suryalila Retreat Centre in Spain.
One advantage of getting injured at a retreat centre is the availability of amazing massage…

I wanted to keep up some kind of self-practice, but how I felt about yoga had changed. Rather than being my safe space, yoga felt risky. I considered meditation but this was hard as I couldn’t sit still for more than 20 seconds and I am incapable of meditating lying down – I just fall asleep.

Instead I started to read books on Buddhist practices, which helped more than the back pain books did. They encouraged me to develop a less combative relationship with the pain. I also began very gentle and cautious mobilisation and breathing exercises.

Trekking to Annapurna Base Camp

Sun rising over the Annapurna mountain range

Little by little, I started to build up the distance I could walk. Initially I’d just do little circuits of my house, then I ventured down the long path to the gate and back, each time adding a bit more of a detour onto my route back.

This was going well, but I feared not well enough. I had booked to do the Annapurna Base Camp trek at the start of December – 9 days of arduous trekking in the Himalayas. The trek was something I had dreamed about for years, so although I was nervous, I felt I had to try.

For the first day trekking, I was tentative, inching my way along the trail. But nothing went wrong, nothing hurt too badly and that night I lay in my sleeping bag unable to sleep because I was so excited that I might just be able to do it. And day by day, my confidence grew. It wasn’t painless, far from it, but the more I walked the more my pain eased. I was so grateful for what my body could do.

Not only that but the walking was an exercise in mindfulness. Because you have to place your feet carefully for each step (to avoid falling off the mountain) it’s impossible to think about anything else. My partner and I agreed to do the whole trek as a digital detox, not connecting to WiFi or using devices to communicate with the outside world. I finished the trek feeling calmer, happier and more present than I have in a long time.

Sign and prayer flags at Annapurna Base  Camp.

But still no yoga. I played with a few postures after walking some days, but they didn’t feel great, and I didn’t want to risk it.

New Year, New Focus

Then came new year. We treated ourselves to some time at Hariharilaya, a yoga and meditation retreat in Cambodia. I found the yoga classes daunting. Although the practice was gentle, I felt flashes of panic and sometimes anger when a posture affected my back. I can’t say I loved my return to yoga in the same way I’d loved my return to walking, but they did help me to overcome the fear I had of moving my body in different ways.

Signs pointing to yoga hall and other facilities at Hariharalaya Retreat Centre.
The very lovely Hariharalaya Retreat Centre

But the meditation made a more tangible difference. By the end of the retreat, I was able to sit on a meditation bench for around 30 minutes without pain. Meditating for longer periods of time in a supportive environment gave me chance to put into practice all the theory from my reading on Buddhism.

There was also a strong emphasis on the importance of self-practice throughout the retreat, which I took to heart.

Since coming back from the retreat, I’ve developed the most consistent self-practice I’ve had for years. I practice daily, around 30 minutes of postures, followed by pranayama and meditation later in the day. My practice doesn’t look the way it used to – currently my most “advanced” posture is tree pose (which I love!) – but it feels good. More honest, more connected and more grounding.

Me practising dragonfly (or grasshopper) pose in Morocco.
It may be a while before my yoga practice looks like this again!

Finding Yoga Again

In coming back to yoga I have become reacquainted with my body. I enjoy feeling into where the edges are now, and where I can use my breath to open up spaces. I’m building up confidence and trust in my body once more, and I know that’s going to take time. For once, I’m content to give it that time.

Me practising simple yoga on the beach.
Morning yoga on the beach in Koh Chang



On My Californian Hot Yoga Experience…

Hot Yoga StudioDisclaimer: I wrote this straight after a hot yoga class, with the intention of turning it into a more polished article, then decided that it would be more honest to publish it unedited… If you are offended by swearing, you should probably stop reading now. I can only blame the heat 😉

So… are there any “normal” yoga classes here? No? Hot yoga it is then.

The studio seems to have been designed in homage to an early nineties Eastern European dance club. It’s all disco lights and concrete.

Still at least the lights aren’t actually changing colour.

Oh no wait. They are.

It seems the teacher was joking when she said the studio isn’t that hot. It’s hot as fuck. I’ve still not got to grips with the Californian sense of humour.

Shit, I’ve put my mat down at the back only to discover that the back is the front. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. I need to move.

It’s far too late to move. The class is filling up and the teacher has already spotted me and given me a don’t-even-think-about-moving-now-I-have-you-in-my-sights toothy All-American grin.  Better brave this one out.

Let’s be nonchalant. I can just do a few cat-cows, a little plank. Pretend that I do yoga in the fires of hell every day.

On second thoughts, moving is bad. Need to stop moving. Move as little as possible. It’s so goddamned hot. How long would it take me to get to the door from here? It looks locked. Is it locked?

No one panic. I think I’m panicking. Is this what a panic attack feels like?

Calm, be calm. Focus on your breathing. This is what yoga is all about.

This is not what yoga is all about.  

I’m dizzy. It’s so hot. Does everyone in here have breast implants? I think they might.

Oh no wait, there’s a guy over there. He just caught my eye and smiled. I’m getting flat chest solidarity vibes from him. That’s nice.

Ok time to start. The teacher just told us that the first rule is that you aren’t allowed to leave. I’m pretty sure this time she wasn’t joking. Even Fight Club didn’t have that rule. I think I’d rather be in Fight Club right now.

Hot Yoga Selfie

The teacher just reminded us to leave our egos outside. It’s safe to say my ego left the moment it saw the wall-to-wall mirrors in here. There is no part of my body I can’t see.

I never knew my belly looked like that from the side. Weird.

Ok, focus, stop staring at the mirrors. Focus on the teacher. What the hell are we meant to be doing? She has her back to us and is talking to the mirror. Has she forgotten we’re here? Maybe I can sneak away now…

No, she hasn’t. I just got told off for looking at her. It seems we’re meant to be staring at ourselves in the mirror. Ego-less, remember?

She just told us to engage our cores “because it’s summer.” Would you not engage your core in winter? FFS.

It’s ok though, because we’re only in competition with ourselves. I’m not even paraphrasing now.

This is the strangest mixture of vanity, masochism and self-hatred I’ve ever come across.

People pay for this.

People are weird.

She keeps counting down. Just two more flows, then we’re done. Just one more pose in this sequence. Go to your edge, then hold it for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. We’ve had more false finishes than my nerves can bear.

So. Much. Sweat. There are puddles of water around my mat. Everywhere I touch turns to sweat. I didn’t know there was so much water in my body.

The woman next to me doesn’t seem to be sweating at all.

She is mostly lying down though. I don’t blame her.

She looks very still. I hope she’s breathing.

I’d do anything for a cold beer right now.

Or a gin and tonic.

A pint of gin and tonic.

With ice.

Mmmm ice.

I don’t think there’s anyone in the world I would not marry if they brought me a pint of iced gin and tonic.

Maybe Trump. I probably wouldn’t marry Trump.

Actually I probably would.

I really do want a gin and tonic.

I am never going to hot yoga again.

I think it’s close to the end.

No one seems to be doing anything anymore. They’re mostly wiping themselves with towels and wincing in the mirrors.

Oh no, 3 more poses.Motivational poster on the wall

2 more.

Final pose.

If we want to do anything else we can.

I think I’m good.

Savasana.

Thank fuck for that.

She just told us that our future selves will thank us for this. I doubt that very much.

 

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